Dear Old Me…

How have you been? I hope all is well with you. I just wanted to drop a few notes by your way to let you know that I have been doing fine. I also wanted to say THANK YOU!Thank you for allowing me to experience the ups and the many downs that I have faced – sometimes at points when I feel alone and others during times when I had people near, but still felt alone. It sucked big time but because of you, I learned how to voice my feelings and even my fears. Can you believe that? I’ve learned that I have many issues that stem from being abandoned in one way or another and even though they were not addressed during your time frame, I found it never too late to address them now.

You know, I’ve learned that when you experience real love, you won’t feel pain or even a sense of misery. I experienced that a lot when I was your age so I grew up thinking that those associations were normal. Boy was I mistaking. But thankfully, I have come to discover a love even greater than what you had (can you believe it??)…self love. That’s right, I’ve learned to love you a lot more than I use to and it feels amazing.

Now I must admit, I have grown a few extra scales so at times when I don’t want to be bothered, I just don’t. I am trying to work on that but I can’t make you any promises. Right now though, I’ve been waiting on my Mr. Right to come along and just sweep me off of my feet…not necessarily like they do in the movies, but you get my drift. I don’t honestly want anything lovey dovey but rather something more real. I want something lasting and hell, I want to be able to finish one another’s sentences and laugh at corny jokes together. It just seems like people are drifting away from that type of chemistry now and days…it’s a little depressing yanno? But hey, I’ll be fine. I’ve gone this long being to myself…what’s a little bit longer going to do?

Well, I won’t chat your ear off…I hope you are sincerely doing very well for yourself. I don’t miss you but I will always love you and just know that I…I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.

Sincerely,

Self.

 

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