When Rejections Go Wrong?

If you read my previous entry, then you would have learned a method I tend to use a lot when I really don’t want to be bothered while out at either a nightclub or lounge. [See “Mr. Ass Licker”]  It’s truly sad to have to go through this but at the same time, there are moments where as a woman, you have to use your best judgment.  One thing that I have learned is always to make friends with the establishment’s security or owners.  There’s nothing wrong with being friendly to those whom may be the ones to save your life at the end of the night.

I have heard stories before where a woman would be approached by a male in a club while heavily intoxicated or belligerent.  Naturally reacting, the women would claim to have a significant other.  You would think that this type of answer would turn the men off but this is not always the case.  So what do you do or say when the person still pursues you?  Our second reaction is to give them a wrong number.  What’s wrong with this method?  Well now, guys are getting hip to it and some will go as far as to actually dial the number right there in front of you.  The last thing that you need at this point is for some husky, beefy man to answer the phone and advise the determined man that he has the wrong number.  Why?  Well, a lot of men cannot handle rejection too well (especially if this takes place in front of their boys).  Now they feel embarrassed and will seek retaliation.  

Take the following cases:


Photo Source: Huffington Post

Police say a man shot and killed a woman after she rejected his advances at an event in Detroit over the weekend. Five people were also injured during the incident.

Mary Spears, 27, was at the American Legion Joe Louis Post No. 375 on the east side of Detroit when the 38-year-old suspect allegedly approached her and began talking to her, according to WDIV.

When the suspect asked for her number, Spears, whose fiancé was also at the event,told him she was already involved with someone, WJBK reports. The suspect, however, continued harassing her, family members told the station.

Police said security took the man out of the club through the back door and escorted him to the front. After a fight broke out, the suspect allegedly took out a handgun and began shooting, killing Spears around 2 a.m. Sunday. [Click Here for the full story]

How scary is that?  

So you tell someone that you’re not interested in one way or another and instead of just taking it with a grain of salt, the person decides that’s not enough.  

What about this story which happened more recently:

(l-r) Janese Talton-Jackson (Photo source: Janese Talton-Jackson's Facebook) / Charles McKinney (Photo credit: Pittsburgh Police)
(l-r) Janese Talton-Jackson (Photo source: Janese Talton-Jackson’s Facebook) / Charles McKinney (Photo credit: Pittsburgh Police

Janese Talton-Jackson, 29, was shot and killed Friday morning in Homewood, Pittsburgh after leaving a bar, and the suspect is now in custody after being shot by police.

Officers responded to a ShotSpotter report that detected gunshots at N. Lang Avenue and Upland Street at around 1:50 a.m. During a traffic stop, the police encountered 41-year-old Charles McKinney in a silver vehicle. The authorities received a dispatch stating that a woman had been gunned down in the area, and upon hearing this, McKinney sped off…

Authorities say that the incident began when McKinney attempted to talk to Talton-Jackson at a bar, but when she turned him down and left the bar, he followed her out and shot her in the chest.

[Click Here for the full story]

Not in every case has women who rejected men and their advances died from the incident:

Source: Go Fund Me
Photo Source: MadameNoire.com

Paris Sashay, a 23-year-old comedienne, was out with her friends late last Saturday night when she was brutally attacked by a group of men.

The men called out to Sashay and her friends and when she rejected their advances, the interaction turned violent. Sashay was walking to her parked car when the men pushed her to the ground. She blacked out but later woke up in the hospital with a broken nose, chipped teeth, a swollen lip and bruises.

She told a Washington NBC affiliate, “Guys make it where you don’t have a right to say no anymore. But as a woman, you should be able to say no,” Sashay said. “Just say no. You’re just not interested.” [Click Here for the complete story]

And it doesn’t always have to take place in a nightclub.  

Sometimes, being a woman in public is just enough for someone to make their advances and react when the results do not go their intended way:

 Inset: Denzel Rosson, 24, was charged with battery and attempted robbery.
Photo Source: DNAInfo.com

When a Bridgeport woman riding the “L” refused to give a man her phone number Monday, he followed her to another train car before putting her in a headlock and trying to steal her phone, prosecutors and witnesses said.

The incident unfolded shortly before 9 p.m. Monday when Denzel Rosson, 24, asked a 21-year-old woman to give him her number, according to Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

The woman refused, Scaduto said, but Rosson wouldn’t leave her alone. The woman moved to another train car and Rosson followed.

The woman exited the train at Roosevelt, where Rosson followed her to the sidewalk in the 1100 block of South Wabash Avenue, Scaduto said. As the woman tried to call 911, Rosson allegedly made his move.

According to witnesses and police, Rosson got the woman in a headlock, punched her in the face and tried to steal her phone and purse before he ran away. [Click Here for the full story]

So how do you actually go about rejecting someone that you’re not interested in, without becoming a victim to violence?  

When does  “No,” meanNO

Leave a comment and let’s discuss this matter.  There are plenty of women who are just not sure what can be said in order to prevent a matter from escalating to this point.  Men, please provide any feedback as well.  Why do you think this happens?



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6 thoughts on “When Rejections Go Wrong?

  1. Hi, I came across your Blog on BLW’s article. I was intrigued straight away. I’m from Ireland and it is the same over here (not to the same extent with guns as we don’t have guns) but even when it’s not that violent it sill doesn’t mean it should warrant aggressive responses. I have wrote previously about how it is a catch 22. If a man approaches you and you immediately tell him you are not interested the response is along the lines of “I wasn’t hitting on you etc, stuck up bitch etc”. If you are polite and chat to the man, then when he tries making a move and you turn down his advances you’re now “a tease”. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground to politely tell someone you’re not interested.
    And why do we have to use excuses like I have a boyfriend, I’m gay etc. Why do we fear saying the truth: I’m not interested in you.
    Anyway, I thought your article was very interesting and will be sure to check out other ones you have written 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read my article. Yes, it is definitely a double standard…there’s no right answer at the end of the day to any man’s advances or even catcalls. The ball is ultimately in their court unless you’re protected by security or something of great kick-back force. I, however, find it amazing that in Ireland, they do not have guns (which is a good thing in my eyes). Like you said, its either now we’re considered stuck up bitches or a tease. We should be able to come and go as we please without the constant harassment but unfortunately, the world just doesn’t see eye-to-eye on that. Thanks for the comment and the subscribe!

      Liked by 1 person

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